Change Your Links
Topic: foolishness
to:

http://wethreejerks.blogspot.com/

Different bat-channel, same bat-guano.

Marc

Don't let the door hit ya' where the good lord split ya'
We're blowing this two bit website service and picking up stakes.

Find W3J somewhere else.

You'll all like it much better.

Anyway, much props to D-Luce, his sight first tipped me off to the idea of finding a better host.

We Three Jerks

Todd, We Hardly Knew Ye
Topic: foolishness
You know those commercials with that balding, feminized dope (we call him "Todd" at Jerk HQ) who's being dragged around by his wife looking at shoes, but then he grows horns out of his head because he took Viagra and now his flaccid, dead penis is functional again, and he's all "Bitch, go buy some lingerie and get ready to saddle up, cause Big Todd's back in town"?

Well, the FDA pulled them.

Marc

Believe?
Topic: politics
Mad props to the City Council for rousing me from post-election burnout with their proposed pay raise:

If approved, the pay raises for elected officials would come less than six months after the mayor and council approved $30 million in increased telephone, energy and real estate taxes as part of the city's $2.1 billion budget.

In 1999, council members' annual salaries rose 30 percent, from $37,000 to $48,000. The council vice president's pay increased 28 percent, from $39,000 to $50,000. The pay for the council president and comptroller rose 23 percent, from $65,000 to $80,000. The mayor's pay jumped 32 percent, from $95,000 to $125,000.

The 6 percent pay raise being introduced at today's council session would give council members salaries of $50,880. The vice president, whom the new council will elect next month, would be paid $53,000. Dixon and Pratt would each get $84,800; and the mayor would be paid $132,500.

The idea of Baltimore's elected offiials giving themselves a pay raise after raising taxes $30 million and laying off city school employees two years in a row is revolting, to say the least. At least one council member agrees (thanks to Baltimore resident E. Nelson):

I just want you to know that I am totally against any pay raise for the City Council.

Councilman Ed Reisinger

This outrage, coupled with Mayor O'Malley's recent decision to throw Police Commissioner Kevin Clark to the wolves, got me thinking: what, exactly will be the rationale behind Martin O'Malley's 2006 gubernatorial campaign? Is he going to run on his record - a corrupt, violent school system, rampant murders, and government by the fatcats, for the fatcats?

I know at least one of the Jerks, and one of our loyal readers are O'Malley fans - so explain to me why O'Malley, rather than Bob Ehrlich (or even Doug Duncan) deserves to be governor.

Marc

Addendum: Ehrlich campaign ad, 2006 - picture it:

Opening still shot: chalk outline on a city street (preferably child-sized)
Fade to black, text on screen: "X murders under Martin O'Malley's administration"
Cut to still shot from funeral: pastor, women wailing, etc.
Cue Black Female Voice: "They're mourning again in Baltimore..."

Gold!

A hot steaming bowl of shut the hell up
Topic: schadenfreude
Sorry this wasn't posted sooner, but I have been busy with real school work. Yeah, I know I'm just as surprised as everyone else.

But I thought I should point out that the Steelers made the Eagles their bitches yesterday.

So D-Luce, J.i.T. (Jerk in Training), cram it in your cheesteak hole.

Draper

I Am Looking Forward To An Orderly Election Which Will Eliminate The Need For A Violent Bloodbath
Topic: politics
Voters lined up at 7 am at the library:

My election prediction: Bush 291, Kerry 247.

Marc

Here I Stand; I Can Do No Other
Topic: LEGO
Built by a German AFOL, in honor of Refomation Day:

Marc

Hobbits real life, Joe missing link?
This is really cool. I learned about it first last night listening to the BBC world service. Which I suggest you all do. Anyway.

Somewhere in the Indonesian archipelago scientists have found remains of a new species of people dating back to as early as 13,000 years ago, when many Homo sapiens were farming and generally evolving into something that we are very similar to these days. Evolutionarily identical at least. Maybe loincloths are the way to go.

This species Homo floresiensis was approximately only one meter tall, had the head the size of a grapefruit, and a brain about a third the size of ours. Which, surprisingly is smaller than chimpanzee brains, but these newly discovered 'Hobbits', as they're being called, had very evolved tool making behavior and were organized hunters. All in all this is very big.

As you may or may not know but we are the only species in the genus HOMO, and to find a species dating back only 13,000 in the same genus, is tremendous. Anyway, read it all here at Nature.

Draper

Bodymore, Murda'land
Topic: Stinktown
Well, it was only time until someone in this most foul (and foul smelling by the way, God, being in Brooklyn this past weekend was like being in a slaughterhouse. God damn rendering plant.) actually got shot in the face. Only, unfortunately, it happened to be a tenth grader. Remember people, bob and weave, duck and cover. Run, run, run.

Draper

Marc, jerk, hero, drunk
Topic: jerk fellation
After this drunken weekend I realize that despite all our jerkiness sometimes W3J are not all bad all the time. For instance when after a long weekend of gorging, belching, farting, and alcohol consumption the call from a damsel in distress (this Jerk's girlfriend, by the way) was answered mightily by Marc.

And so Marc in recognition for your hungover heroics you get the reward, a bottle of Macallan's US release of Cask Strength Scotch Whiskey.

The Macallan Cask Strength was introduced to the USA during 2002 to appeal to both current Macallan drinkers and lovers of cask strength whisky. Bob Dalgarno and his team of nosers laboured long and hard to select the right balance of first and second fill sherry oak casks from Spain that when combined created a Macallan of tremendous strength, power and complexity.

Conscious that whisky at natural cask strength of almost 60% abv can be overly pungent Bob has managed to balance the obvious high alcohol with classic clove like spices and dried fruits.

Mark Izatt, Brand Manager for The Macallan in the USA comments "Cask strength is currently taking the US by storm, and is proving equally popular with both The Macallan loyalist and new drinkers. The striking red label has proved a great hit and offers a contemporary feel to this special whisky."




Colour:
Mahogany


Nose:
Rich dried fruit, chocolate orange with wood spices (ginger) and oak in background.


Taste:
Full, rich wood spices, fruits coming through afterwards.


Draper

Jerks Tamed?
Topic: foolishness
D-Luce calls out W3J:

Sunday I watched some football with the Jerks. I've heard stories about how you want to steer clear of the trio on game days, but all in all there was only a tame evening to be had.

What's he talking about? What could be wilder than three men curled up on a futon drinking champagne?

Marc

Nice Work If You Can Get It
Topic: politics
Apparently, being a teacher, librarian, and mother aren't "real jobs", you know, like fucking a senator:

"Well, you know, I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good," Heinz Kerry said. "But I don't know that she's ever had a real job -- I mean, since she's been grown up. So her experience and her validation comes from important things, but different things."

Heinz Kerry said she sees her age as a benefit -- she is 66 and Bush 57. "I'm older, and my validation of what I do is a little bit bigger -- because I'm older, and I've had different experiences. And it's not a criticism of her. It's just, you know, what life is about," she said.

Class all the way - this must of that opinionation we heard so much about at the convention:

And my only hope is that, one day soon, women -- who have all earned their right to their opinions -- instead of being called opinionated, will be called smart and well-informed, just like men.

Teresa has certainly earned the right to be called an asshole, just like a man. Is there anyone in America who wants to hear this useless old bag talking to us about "validation" for the next four years?

Marc

That Wiley Media
Topic: politics
MPT is televising a debate tonight between Senator Barbara Mikulski and the hapless Republican hoping to unseat her, State Senator E.J. Pipkin.

From the Sun:

Maryland voters will get their first chance to see the candidates' differences from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. on Maryland Public Television. Three reporters - Wiley Hall of the Associated Press, Anne Kramer of radio station WBAL-AM and MPT's Lou Davis - will question the candidates.

Now as far as I know, Lou Davis and Anne Kramer are your standard apolitical newsreader types. But Wiley Hall III is a far-left writer whose resume includes a stint as editor of the Afro-American and a column in the City Paper. You can read through Hall's City Paper columns here - try and find the one about how voucher supporters are bigots or how Nightline is a conservative mouthpiece.

I'm not really surprised at this kind of dishonesty from the local media anymore, but I can't figure out why they would go to the trouble of stacking the deck against E.J. Pipkin. Can't they let the poor bastard take his 20-point beating without being called a racist by Wiley friggin' Hall?

Marc

White Boy's Off Beat
Topic: politics
The national media got the memo that John Kerry is trying to emphasize his religious "beliefs":

Faith Increasingly Part of Kerry's Campaign

Kerry invokes God to appeal to the faithful

I actually caught Kerry's singing performance live on C-SPAN - it was so off-beat, I think it qualified as a hate crime.

Of course, there's already a (real) religious guy running for president, but he's crazy! ... right? If you haven't read the NYT Magazine piece on Bush's faith, there isn't much new - just the usual litany of Bush is dumb stories recast as Bush is a zealot stories. The best part is a brief glimpse outside of the cocoon:

And for those who don't get it? That was explained to me in late 2002 by Mark McKinnon, a longtime senior media adviser to Bush, who now runs his own consulting firm and helps the president. He started by challenging me. ''You think he's an idiot, don't you?'' I said, no, I didn't. ''No, you do, all of you do, up and down the West Coast, the East Coast, a few blocks in southern Manhattan called Wall Street. Let me clue you in. We don't care. You see, you're outnumbered 2 to 1 by folks in the big, wide middle of America, busy working people who don't read The New York Times or Washington Post or The L.A. Times. And you know what they like? They like the way he walks and the way he points, the way he exudes confidence. They have faith in him. And when you attack him for his malaprops, his jumbled syntax, it's good for us. Because you know what those folks don't like? They don't like you!''

Marc

Corky 4 Bush
Topic: politics

Marc