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We Three Jerks
Wednesday, 4 February 2004
Do You Like Nachos?
Wise words from former president Gerald Ford:
A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.
Saw this quote on Instapundit, where it was attributed to the Gipper.

Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 6:03 PM EST
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Tuesday, 3 February 2004
Ahh, Nuts
Exit polls from National Review:
AZ Kerry 46, Clark 24, Dean 13
MO Kerry 52, Edwards 23, Dean 10
SC Edwards 44, Kerry 30, Sharpton 10
OK Edwards 31, Kerry 29, Clark 28
DE Kerry 47, Dean 14, Lieberman 11, Edwards 11
Well, if those turn out to be right, it looks like Dean is finished, and Edwards is the alternative to Kerry. Dean's plan to wait out these primaries and emerge as the alternative to Kerry could only have worked if Kerry swept the board and knocked everyone else out.

Now it's Edwards who will benefit from the inevitable Muskie Kerry backlash. Edwards is the only guy who really scares me running against Bush.

Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 4:05 PM EST
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Plates post...have I posted this one yet?
The beginning, as it were (Wednesday)

The Sun. A line drawn between shadow and light on my face. I'm awake. What time is it? This is no early morning sun. This is that sharp and angry late morning sun. Move, roll over, go back to dreaming. The strength to move, barely. Moving away from the encroaching daylight, deeper into the shadows. Closer to being trapped. The day will have me, soon enough, not yet, though. Not yet. Still to sleep, to rest, to dream.
Awake, again. The sun methodically chasing me farther and farther to the wall beside my bed. I know it's time to rise when the day's light is just about to crest, when I can move no farther.
Trapped between my wall and the light cascading in through the cracked Venetian blinds. Only then does the escape become possible. At daylight's peak can I finally get out of bed. Only then, when I know the day is receding back into darkness can I muster the strength to rise. Only then.
I think today is Wednesday. I think. Not a special day except for the fact that tonight, in just a few hours I'll be less alone. I'll be with friends, soon to embark on that long last chapter of this thing. But, the day, it begins like any other. It really began, or rather, it's been going on like this for months now. One day bleeding into the next.
How many months has this been going on? How long has this day lasted? The ebb and flow of a static life. How long?
It's cold in my apartment. But still it seems stuffy, so I open the window above my bed. The cold air rushes in, greets me. I like to sit and watch my little town move and breath without me. I'll sit there, on many mornings, or on many days, when finally I have risen, and sit cross legged, smoking a cigarette, my face weary and rough. Sitting and watching the town rock gently to and fro. I'll be sitting there, like now, and catch a glimpse of who I have become in the mirror opposite my bed. I look, and am startled, I know not that person any more.
I'll sit there, and let the cigarette dangle from my mouth like James Dean, and crack my hands, my neck, my back, and my knees. What a miserable routine I've made for myself. But, I am in the depths of it. I am stuck, trapped, here. Seems like forever. I finally look at my watch. And remember that it stopped working a couple of weeks ago. It doesn't matter. I guess it's somewhere after two. The first school busses are starting to crawl up and down Main St. Kids, so full of life are sitting in plastic desks, squirming, just waiting, itching to get out of school to make the most of the little sunlight that they get to play in. It is March. But, the trees, still bare, the air, still frigid. And the light wasted on people like me. To sleep through most of it, and to curse it when finally forced to face it.
I smoke my cigarette down to the butt. I don't want to waste it. I keep sucking at the thing until I can taste that horrible burnt plastic taste of the filter. It's about all I have the money for these days. A pack a day and a couple a beers at night. What little I eat is charity from my mom or a meal here and there bummed from Pat or Francis. I am hungry, but my addictions are more important. Hell, I'm something like two months overdue on rent. I've been living off of Francis' half of the rent and utilities. Bargaining and begging my way through the last few months. Some how, I still have a home, and friends, and cable and a phone. Some how.
My head hurts. Am I hungover. No. Maybe a tumor. Man, that'd be good. No. Ignore those thoughts. I pad through the empty apartment, shadowed by my lonely little dog. Stand there in the kitchen. What am I looking for. None of this food is mine. Francis wouldn't mind if I took some. But, I can't. Don't want to without asking. Take the only thing in the fridge that belongs to me, a half empty, flat bottle of diet coke. No glass, no ice, just drink it out of the bottle.
Log on to the computer. Looking for salvation in my email. Look for inspiration. Find none. Go to the inevitable last stop. Porn.
The television tells me it's now four. I should shower. Should put some kind of face on for my friends tonight. Francis will be home in about an hour. Be a little bit alive.
Half past four. Take the dog out. Walk past the bike shop. The guys are beginning to assemble for an early season training ride. I should join them. No, too out of shape. Tell them, yeah, I've been training all winter inside. Gonna be stronger this year than ever before. At least I look it. Have lost nearly twenty pounds since last season. Tell them that I'll be there on the next ride, but not today, have things to do.
Poke my head out of the window after I'm back inside. Making sure that the guys are gone from in front of the bike shop. Hurry to the 7-11 for a pack of smokes and another two liter of diet coke. See Francis pulling his little red car into the still snow covered parking lot behind the apartment. Waving and grinning, I am glad to not be alone, now. Glad to see a friend, a friend more like family than my real blood.
`How was the old salt mine today?' As I light another cigarette.
`Not bad, not bad. Gimme' a hand with this stuff huh?'
He's got his sleeping supplies. His ever present beige duffle bag. His fan. His pillows. And a box of booze. Yeah, he technically lives with me here in the apartment on Main St. but, in all reality he spends his time in three places. His Dad's house, his girlfriend's, and here. I think here, more than anything as a favor to me, or some kind of one last time gesture. Without him, I probably would've been evicted by now. He's been keeping me alive. In so many ways. Always has.
We climb the rickety ice covered stairs in behind the building. Both, with arms full. Entering the back door to the apartment, through the kitchen, the dog so excited that we've not abandoned her she pees on the floor. I just took her out. Oh well. Francis gives her some love, I just glare at her. Not having the heart to punish her. I know. He takes his stuff to the closet he calls his room. I clean up her mess and give her a treat. Glad, that she is there. Small things, to get through the day.
He calls Pat, talks about food. Asks me if I'm hungry. I say no. (A lie.) Says Pat'll be down in a little bit and that they'll be making ramen noodles and beans and rice and that there will be plenty extra in case I get hungry. I appreciate the offer but know that I will take none of their food and that they will finish it with or without me.
Pat arrives at about 6. He comes bearing gifts. Food and beer. The beer I will accept. The food I will not. While they prepare their beggar's feast I slip out of the apartment and back to the 7-11 for two dollars worth of snack cakes. This will be my food for the day. I feel guilty about it. I don't really have any money to spend. But, I know someone will pick up my drinks tonight.
I smell the incense before I reenter the apartment from outside in the hallway. I know what they're doing. Back into the living room, scattered with books, magazines, beer bottles and two pots of cheap carbohydrates. They pass back and forth the pretty glass. Inhaling deeply between mouthfuls of food. They offer me a hit. No. Thanks, I am fine. I want to. But, the last thing I need is to get down into that kind of state. I will never reemerge. Not, tonight, at least.
A little before 8 now. Moving from beer to liquor. Francis playing bartender. Thanks. I feel a little looser. A little lighter. A good thing. Yes. I mute the television and put on some music. A tap, tap at the door and Francis' girlfriend and some of his college friends greet us with hopeful smiles. I let them in and the night begins.

Draper

Posted by thynkhard at 2:33 AM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 3 February 2004 2:34 AM EST
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Monday, 2 February 2004
godamnit.
Anyway...Gandalf's burned down. Yeah, the greatest bar on earth. It burned down. Boo.

Draper

Posted by thynkhard at 11:32 PM EST
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Groundhog Sees Shadow; World Sees Nipple
Groundhog Day:
There was good news for skiers today as the world's most famous furry forecaster saw his shadow on Groundhog Day, predicting six more weeks of winter.
Halftime Show:
It appeared that Timberlake ripped Jackson's outfit as he reached out to her, revealing her breast with what appeared to be a sun-shaped silver nipple ring.
Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 8:42 AM EST
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Saturday, 31 January 2004
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad blog post!
With the recent deviled eggs post and the subsequent keen eye of Tony noticing that we now have ads for eggs and cayenne pepper I thought I would try to give the automated ad program a hard time. Lets see where this post gets us.

Am now at this very moment watching on cable TV, yes, cable, ah, cable. Its a mad, mad, mad, mad world! With the likes of Spencer Tracy, Buddy Hacket, Ethel Merman, Mickey Rooney, Sid Caesar, Jonathan Winters, Don Knotts, and many more top shelf comics from the 50's and 60's. Funny, silly, stupid shit. For like three hours. Anyway.

In cycling news...the European season is winding up. The first important race of the season is being held on the last day of February. Het Volk. It is a Belgian semi-classic that has been the traditional start to the serious racing. Nothing like racing in Belgium in February. Fucking cold.

Further proof that France is a nation of cheaters and whiners. Usually, though I am not into France bashing. But, as far as cycling and cheating goes, the French stink just like their unwashed pits.

Phillipe Gaumont, a trouble but talented time trialist and best friend of Franck Vandebrouck (a Belgian, by the way) has just admitted to taking EPO and has said that the doping problem is no where near being over in pro-cycling. No shit.

But, the good news is that he says that it is no longer institutionalized, that is, the teams no longer systematically dope. But, friends have friends and the drugs are passed around the peleton that way. You can watch it happen, if you follow cycling long enough. First it was some lowly basques. Then the Italians. Then the French. It is a mess.

In Rocky Run news. I should be on the bar within two months. It is actually not a bad job. I mean that. I worked all day yesterday. Like a 13 hour day. But, made something like 170$ after tipping out the bar and the bussers. So, not bad.

School has started back up. Yes, my last semester of classes of Towson University. Ranked just recently by whoever it is that ranks schools, as one of the top ten schools for Master's degrees. Hooray, for my backup school.

So, suicidegirls.com is a great site for naked women.

One last word. Dean is an animal, Liberman a troll, Kerry a mummy, Sharpton a clown, Kucinich an elf, and Edwards...well he seems to be the only human being running for the dems. I think we're really fucked. But, I'll still vote. And be grumpy.

Oh well.

In summary, naked girls, suicidegirls, cycling, drugs, EPO, Towson University, Buddy Hackett, comcast cable television, Belgium, the Basques, and so on.

Draper

Posted by thynkhard at 2:23 PM EST
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Friday, 30 January 2004
First In The Nation?
Terry McAuliffe is threatening to take away New Hampshire's traditional role as the first primary:
In a Wednesday interview, McAuliffe voiced personal support for keeping New Hampshire's primary and Iowa's caucus the nation's first tests of candidate strength. But he estimated that 90 percent of the Democratic National Committee's members wants to eliminate their leadoff positions. Iowa holds the nation's first caucus eight days before New Hampshire's primary.

McAuliffe said New Hampshire's record voter turnout was "first and foremost" helpful for the state. But he said that to change minds on the DNC, "The second part of it is even more critical. New Hampshire needs to make itself a blue state in November 2004." That means the state needs to give its four electoral votes to the Democratic nominee, not President George W. Bush.

Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 5:59 PM EST
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The Galloping Steakbag

Deviled Eggs

    Ingredients:
  • 8 hard boiled eggs
  • 1 tbsp. Dijon mustard
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise
  • salt and pepper
  • cayenne pepper and garlic powder
  • paprika
    Directions:
  • Boil eggs for 15 minutes, then put them in cold water
  • When cooled, slice eggs in half lengthwise
  • Scoop out yolks and mix with mustard and mayo
  • Season with salt, pepper, garlic, and cayenne pepper (just a little of the garlic and cayenne pepper)
  • Spoon mixture into a Ziploc bag
  • Cut a small hole in corner of bag, and squeeze mixture into the eggs
  • Dust eggs with paprika
Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 11:40 AM EST
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Thursday, 29 January 2004
Hey Jerks
Newsflash...for scumbags proper (Marc/Tony) or those of you who are scumbags by proxy...I now have internet at home. Beware.

Posted by thynkhard at 12:30 PM EST
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Show Me The Money
Is Dean broke, or is this the rope-a-dope?
Rivals including front-runner John F. Kerry are buying TV ads in South Carolina and other states holding primaries or caucuses Tuesday, but the former Vermont governor has chosen to forgo further advertising in this round, focusing instead on the Feb. 7 caucuses in Michigan and Washington state, campaign officials said. The decision marks a notable shift in fortunes for an innovative candidate who revolutionized fundraising via the Internet and led all Democrats in 2003 by collecting nearly $41 million.
The Deanyboppers on the blog are starting to sound worried:
People need some guidance here :} Need to know where we are going..whats going on with the ads..if money situation is ok-You guys NEED to address this in a thread...please :}

Could someone please explain to me how we can possibly be in financial trouble with a reported $42 million raised and a million on the bat this week?

I'm so nervous. please show us you can win. i'm a bit upset about pulling all ads in feb 7th states. wouldn't it be nice if you guys could make stunning ads and run them 2 days before the election? or right after super bowl sunday?

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE MONEY?!? Just three weeks ago it looked like WE had the best operation going - and now we can't even afford to put up ads in the next seven states? I think HQ owes us all a frank explanation as to where our money has gone, and why it wasn't used more effectively to get us the nomination, let alone take on George W. Bush.

Now Dean has to pray that everybody else drops out after Feb. 3, or else this strategy is a bust. How much do you want to bet that Brokaw asks Dean about money during the debate tonight?

Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 11:13 AM EST
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It's gonna be bigger than 10 Super Bowls
Lacking the usual amount of fanfare, Super Bowl week has finally arrived. And despite my excitment over both the game itself and the atmosphere surrounding it, I've gotta say that this is probably the least star-studded Super Sunday that I can remember. Neither the Patriots nor the Panthers provide us with anything approaching a star in the NFL. (Tom Brady is probably the closest we've got to true star-power for this game.)

The Washington Post's Michael Wilbon is spending the week in Houston covering the game. So far this week he's written columns about the Panthers GM, Patriots place kicker Adam Vinatieri, and Panthers return specialist, part-time running back and former XFL star Rod Smart (a.k.a. He Hate Me). Not exactly the Mt. Rushmore of professional football.

In spite of this, many observers (myself included) are expecting a good game between two teams who match-up well. Much to the NFL's chagrin, they're not going to be able to sell McNabb, or Manning or Dante Hall or, well, anybody. Now they've got to sell the game itself...and they gave themselves two weeks to do that.

The Super Bowl is not about football fans. Conference Championship Sunday is about real football fans. The Super Bowl is about drinking, and parties, and food and commercials. It is the game as happening. The snag in this year's plan is that, while the game presents interesting matchups that true football fans will revel in, the star-power to fuel the hype for two weeks simply isn't there. No other year has provided such a clear example that the NFL's occassional use of an extra week between Conference Championship Sunday and the Super Bowl is a bad policy. In this year's case, neither team had the ability or desire to fuel the hype machine for an extra week. On the reverse side, when teams do have bonafide superstars, the game is often over-hyped, leading to dissappointment no matter the outcome. I understand the league's desire to extend its season, and its ability to make money, by keeping the extra week. But the NFL must realize that the fans are happier and the games are often better (or at least seem better) when we've only got one week to wait.

Tony

Posted by thynkhard at 10:07 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 29 January 2004 10:10 AM EST
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Green Ketchup
Via Christopher Horner at National Review:
On January 24, before the first vote was cast in New Hampshire's Democratic primary, the League of Conservation Voters (LCV) endorsed Senator John Kerry (D., Mass.) for president. Weeks earlier, in an entirely unrelated matter, the Heinz Family Foundation provided an "unrestricted-use" grant of a quarter million dollars to a group represented on the LCV board.
Specifically, the Heinz Foundation awarded a $250,000 Heinz Award grant to Peggy Shepard of West Harlem Environmental Action in December. Shepard sits on the board of directors for the national LCV.

From the Heinz Foundation press release:

In addition to the $250,000 award for their unrestricted use, recipients are presented with a medallion inscribed with the image of Senator Heinz. On its reverse side is a rendering of a globe passing between two hands, symbolizing partnership, continuity and values carried on to the next generation.
Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 4:31 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 29 January 2004 4:34 AM EST
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Dean-O-Phobia Cured, Kerry-Itis Epidemic Imminent
The past couple of weeks, Jonathan Chait of The New Republic has written the Dean-O-Phobe, a blog devoted to pointing out Howard Dean's flaws. Yesterday, he posted his last entry, saying both Dean and the idea of "Deanism" are finished. However, Chait isn't too excited about the alternative:
Finally, John Kerry takes all the fun out of Dean-o-phobia. Indeed, if there's anybody who could make Dean attractive, it's Kerry. Kerry is a miserable candidate, bereft of political skills, and possessing of a record and a persona tailor-made for Karl Rove. The Republicans will merely have to say about Kerry what they said about Gore--that he wants to be on every side of every issue, that he's culturally out of touch with mainstream America, that he's a pompous bore--and this time the sale will be easier, because all these things are far more true of Kerry than of Gore.
And:
I'd take Kerry over Dean, but it's a choice of defeat over disaster, akin to--as my colleague Frank Foer puts it--the Republicans selecting Bob Dole over Pat Buchanan in 1996.
There's your slogan, Democrats: John Kerry - the Democratic Bob Dole!

Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 2:39 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 29 January 2004 4:45 AM EST
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John Zogby, Superfraud
I make this promise to our readers: I will never mention a Zogby poll ever again. Check out this steaming turd:

1/24-26

1/23-25

1/22-24

1/21-23

1/20-22

1/19-21

1/18-20

Kerry

37%

31%

30%

31%

30%

27%

23%

Dean

24

28

23

22

22

24

25

Edwards

12

12

9

8

7

8

7

Clark

9

13

13

14

14

15

16

Lieberman

9

9

9

7

6

6

7

Kucinich

3

2

2

2

1

1

2

Sharpton

0.1

1

1

1

0.1

0

0.1

Undecided

3*

3*

13

13

17

17

16

Zogby explains Kerry's overnight 10-point (!) pickup thusly:

For Kerry the dam burst after 5PM on Monday. Kerry had a huge day as Undecideds broke his way by a factor of four to one over Dean. Dean recaptured a strong lead among 18-29 year olds, Northerners, singles and Progressives. He narrowed the gap among men, and college educated, however Kerry opened up huge leads among women, union voters, and voters over 65 years of age. These groups gave Kerry the big momentum heading into the primary.
Translation:
In order to get publicity, I 'polled' a tight race two days ago. But to cover my ass, I posted the same numbers as everyone else today. I am a self-promoting clown.

Marc

Posted by thynkhard at 2:26 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 29 January 2004 3:04 AM EST
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Wednesday, 28 January 2004
Democrats say yes, we do want another liberal from Massachusetts
Taking most of the drama out of the Democratic Presidential nomination race, Senator John F. Kerry (D-MA) beat former Vermont Governor Howard Dean by twelve points in yesterday's New Hampshire Primary. (Click here for exit poll analysis) Kerry, whose surprise first place finish in Iowa one week ago helped to spur on this victory, is now comfortably embedded as the party's front-runner. The Dean campaign will have the money and organization that will enable them to challenge Kerry as the contest moves to a national stage, but the momentem is now solidly behind Kerry and Dean is facing a long uphill fight.

The other big story of the night was Senator John Edwards (D-NC), who did worse (at least in my opinion) than expected by coming in a very close fourth, behind Retired Army General Wesley Clark. Edwards spent part of yesterday deflecting reporters' suggestions that he's running for the Vice Presidency. I felt that a strong third-place finish for Edwards, one where he was closer to number two than four, would emnable him to get some sort of bounce out of New Hampshire as the race moves down South. Tuesdays' resutls showed, however, that Edwards was unable to deliver the knockout punch that takes Clark out of the race and winnows the field to Kerry, Dean and Edwards.

Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) failed to pull double digits in a state he had placed all of his resources in. I suspect poor finishes all around next Tuesday, and a signifcant lack of cash pushes Lieberman out of the contest by next Wednesday.

Personally, I had it Dean, Kerry, Edwards, Lieberman, Clark. So, you can take the rest of my commentary with a grain of salt if you'd like. I think Kerry can end any kind of serious challenge by placing a strong second in South Carolina (a state where he recently picked up the endorsement of Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC), South Carolina's most powerful black politician) and a win in Missouri (where neighboring governor Tom Vilsack of Iowa will campaign for Kerry). Unless Kerry does something unimaginable, I think he'll be the clear nominee by next Wednesday. It wouldn't surprise me to see Dean compete for Super Tuesday votes, but I don't expect any kind of contested convention.

Tony

Posted by thynkhard at 1:47 PM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 28 January 2004 1:58 PM EST
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