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We Three Jerks
Friday, 2 April 2004
Two arrested in ironic Woodlawn brawl
Students at Woodlawn High School in Baltimore County who attended an anger-management workshop yesterday saw their auditorium erupt in violence, according to today's Baltimore Sun. The fisticuffs were brought about by a mother who had slunk into the auditorium in order to confront a group of girls who had been picking on her daughter. Both the mother and the daughter have been arrested.

The story, as delicious as it is, does not end there. The students at Woodlawn, determined to solidify their school's reputation for being a haven for gang members and assorted no-good-niks, joined the fracas.

Screaming quickly escalated into pushing and hitting, and school officials dialed 911 as the crowd of 750 students erupted into "chaos," said Woodlawn Principal C. Anthony Thompson.

Students stood on their auditorium seats and rushed toward the fighting girls to get a better look, one student said, and soon other fights were breaking out in the auditorium.

I've been grappling with what I should write about this situation, but honestly, I'm at a loss for words. I mean, a parent started what could only objectively be referred to as a riot in the auditorium of her kid's school while the kids were sitting through an anger-management workshop. Alanis Morissette would have a field day.

Tony

Posted by thynkhard at 4:07 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, 2 April 2004 - 7:06 PM EST

Name: Marc

The mom was on local Fox news tonight. She said she had to rush to her daughter's aid because she was going to get "banked". As in:


She started howlin out "wait", I banked her in the face

Eazy-E, "Sorry Louie"

Tuesday, 13 April 2004 - 11:25 AM EDT

Name: Tony

While visiting my father on Easter I mentioned this story to him. Much to my surprise, he already knew about it. Turns out it was Paul Harvey's final news item a few weeks ago. He retold the story, but left out the anger-management workshop stuff until the end. He then unleashed this juicy tidbit of information, according to my dad, in typical Paul Harvey fashion (you know, almost as an afterthought -- letting the info hang in the air), and then signed off with his trademark: "Paul Harvey -- Good day."

God, I miss Paul Harvey.

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