And Down The Stretch They Come!
With the Iowa caucuses rapidly approaching (Jan. 19), and Howard Dean still holding a slim lead there and a large lead in New Hampshire, the media jackals have begun baying for the blood of the frontrunner. You can't have a horse race without at least two horses.

In the NYT, Adam Nagourney reports a "tide of second thoughts" about Dean amongst Iowa Democrats. A Howard Fineman piece on MSNBC says Dean is now in the "danger zone":

Dean's own errors as a candidate and public speaker are well-known, but generally have been rendered harmless by the tactical and strategic skill of his campaign. Until now. For the first time, I'm seeing the Dean Team off its stride, behaving like mere mortals.

So:
The media ignores Dean's faults, proclaiming him a high-tech, feisty, outsider political genius, and Dean becomes the front-runner. But then, the media points out his overreliance on the internet, his angry, shoot-from-the-mouth tendencies, and the inexperienced "sophomoric strategizing" of the campaign staff, and now Dean is in the "danger zone".

BTW, both Nagourney and Fineman are projecting John "Botox" Kerry as the beneficiary of Dean's forthcoming collapse, for whatever that's worth.

Jay Rosen of Press Think has written an essay critical of the media's horse race syndrome. He likens it to the "inside baseball" conventional wisdom that prompted Bill James to create a new way of looking at the game:

James was originally a press critic. He came to his ideas via philosophical conflict with the sportswriters' tribe. He thought baseball journalists had a firm grasp on the wrong end of the telescope. They were looking at their subject in a way that shrank it to insignificance, compared to the big picture James saw by tinkering with different measures over longer arcs of time.

Read the whole thing, as Glenn Reynolds would say.

Marc

Yea, but what does Hal Sparks think of all this?
So, Joe Gibbs is returning to coach the Skins after an 11 year hiatus. A lot has changed in football in that time, most strikingly the free agent market. Gibbs will not be able to keep the Hogs around for eight years, the way he did during his first run. On the flip side, Gibbs' success has always been rooted in his system (see NPR post) and I don't think Gibbs is going to have a hard time adjusting. He's a dedicated, hardworking and brilliant coach, qualities that will spell success no matter what era you're coaching in.

And now, for something completely different.

Joe Gibbs' final season was the 1992-93 season, which ended with a playoff loss in San Francisco. But what else was going on during those heady days of the early 90s? Put on your parachute pants and your Starter jacket, and come with me on this journey into the recent past.

America falls in love with a couple of delightful little scamps known as Kris Kross, whose song "Jump" is one of the biggest hits of the year. Although their music is popular, they are perhaps more widely known for starting a short-lived trend of wearing oversized jeans and jerseys backwards. Anyone willing to take odds as to whether or not I took this fad out for a spin?

In the world of television, Johnny Carson takes his final golf swing as host of The Tonight Show. His final epsiode includes a teary-eyed Carson being serenaded by Bette Midler, who later gives a lengthy lecture on the inventor of women's undergarments.

Other TV shows ending their run in 1992: Golden Girls, The Cosby Show, and Night Court. Shows that began in 92: Mad About You, The Real World, and The Larry Sanders Show.

Giving adolescent boys everywhere their first wet dream, Sharon Stone shows us her "Jerry Mathers" in the movie Basic Instinct, which co-stars aging wunderhunk Michael Douglas. (By the by, Catherine Zeta-Jones was a perky 23 in 1992). Clint Eastwood wins Best Director for Unforgiven,, which also wins Best Picture. This, however, does little for young boys masturbatory fantasies

Keeping with that delightful little activity, Kathy Ireland graces her second cover of Sports Illustrated's annual Swimsuit Issue. It's also the first swimsuit issue I ever get in the mail, as part of my first Sports Illustrated subscription. After making the rounds, the issue causes a great deal of fanfare at the YMCA after-school program I attend.

Turning now to the world of sports, sales spike for Gatorade's Citrus Cooler flavor (rumor is it's Michael Jordan's favorite) as Jordan propels the Bulls to their second NBA championship. Troy Aikman leads the Cowboys to their first Lombardi trophy of the 90s (they would go on to win 2 more in the decade), and the Blue Jays top the Braves in the World Series. (Now, I'm not sure about this, but this may have also been the Series where Deion Sanders, angered by some comments Tim McCarver had made about him in the telecast, dumped a bucket of water on McCarver's head in the locker room.)

And finally, Bill Clinton is elected President in November of 1992. Later, Clinton will singlehandedly usher in an era of unprecedented economic growth, largely through rising profits at D.C.-area Dominos Pizza, and the reams of material he creates for talk-show hosts, stand-up comics, and Larry King.

Well, that was the year that was. Personally, I was a 13 year old boy, obsessed with sports, preoccupied by sex with an emerging interest in politics.

I guess things aren't as different as I thought they were.

Tony

But I Can Rebuild!
The Skins are $8.6 million under the 2004 cap as of Dec. 31. Notable free agents include Jevon Kearse and Warren Sapp.

The Redskins also have the 5th pick in the 2004 draft. There are some good running backs out there (Chris Perry, Jarrett Payton), but not in the early 1st round. O-line is also a possibility. Baltimore native Mel Kiper has 6' 7", 318 lb. Robert Gallery listed at #4.

Tom Friend of ESPN The Magazine predicts that lifetime Skins fan Daniel Snyder will be too in awe of Gibbs to meddle. Gibbs did work for Jack Kent Cooke, after all.

Marc

SportsCenter With Bob Edwards
Yesterday morning, when Tony called me to say that Joe Gibbs was coming back to coach the Skins, I jokingly said I would stay tuned to NPR for updates.

Well, this morning there was a segment on Morning Edition about Joe Gibbs and the NFL playoffs. Bob Edwards mentioned that Gibbs is the only NFL coach to have won 3 Super Bowls with 3 different QB's. Your tax dollars at work.

Marc

Hey, does anybody know what Gary Clark is doing these days?
When Steve Spurrier was announced as the next Redskins head coach, the move was praised as bold. Now, in an effort to one-up themselves, the Skins are nearing agreement with former Redskins head coach, and winner of 3 Super Bowls, Joe Gibbs. Gibbs is set to replace Spurrier, who resigned after his second losing season as the Skins top guy. Spurrier ended this year at 5-11, bringing his two year record to 12-20.

Joe Gibbs' name has been in the back of every Redskins fan's mind since he left in 1992. If he does return, which sources close to both ESPN and The AP have said is likely, he will be the fifth coach Dan Snyder has had in as many years as the team's owner.

As a longtime Redskins fan, and Joe Gibbs fan, I have to say that the Gibbs news makes me as excited about the Skins as I've been in a long time. I think Gibbs, who comes with more gravitas than Dick Cheney, will be able to corral Snyder and prevent him from overmeddling. I don't think he wants or will get player control, but he will get defference on some level, as Snyder grew up idolizing Gibbs the way most Skins fans did. Although Gibbs hasn't commented, I'm speculating that the recent success of Bill Parcells and Dick Vermeil may have played a part in Gibbs decision to return to coaching.

What we'll all have to remember is that Gibbs went 8-8 in his first season. The Skins are a terrible franchise right now, mired in a culture of losing and defeatism. That is going to take some time to overcome, but if anybody's qualified to do so, it's probably Joe Gibbs.

In other coaching news, the Giants have reached agreement with former Jaguars head coach Tom Coughlin to take over the reins from Jim Fossel, who was fired shortly before the end of the season.

More NFL coaching news.

Tony

The Big Winner

Jason Draper is the winner of the We Three Jerks 2003-04 Collegiate Gridiron Challenge. The contest was a heated one, going down to the final day. Draper secured victory with LSU's destruction of Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl Sunday night. Out of a possible 26 bowl games, Draper predicted 17 correctly, besting the second place finishers by two games.

For the final results of all bowl games, click here.

Contestant Breakdown
Draper: 17 of 26 (65% accuracy rate)
Liz: 15 of 26 (58% accuracy rate)
Tony: 15 of 26 (58% accuracy rate)
Jess: 14 of 26 (54% accuracy rate)
Marc: 13 of 26 (50% accuracy rate)
Patrick: 9 of 26 (35% accuracy rate)

Jason will receive his prize in a few days. To all the other contestants, thanks for playing and good luck next year.

Tony

I'll take Grand Rapids and the points
With only 7 NFL games left, these are somber days. And yet I am the bearer of good news. Dry those tears, and put that sawed-off shotgun back in its easily accessible, unlocked drawer. For the AFL is back to ease your football blues. Training camp will be under way for all teams by the end of January, with the first televised game being February 8th at 3 pm on NBC.

Now, Tampa's playing Orlando, but I'm sure we'll get stuck watching the Rampage play the Force, or some other piece of garbage game.

ANYWAY, after minutes of exhaustive research, here's the good word: The Philadelphia Soul (whose Cheerbabes are called Soulmates) open their season by hosting the fellow-expansion New Orleans Voo Doo (whose Cheerbabes are called Dolls) on February 8th, 2004 at 3pm in the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia. $10 will get you in the door, with decent seats going from somewhere between $10 and $30.

Giddy Up!

Tony

2003 New Year's Funkin' Eve Vodka Challenge
And the winner is... Ketel One!

Chopin - 74
Ketel One - 85.6
Skyy - 79
Stolichnaya - 78.5

The results are based on a blind taste test conducted by six people at our New Year's Eve shindig. Sorry, no pics.

Marc

The Newest Deanybopper
Bill Bradley is getting ready to endorse Dean, according to the AP.

Marc

Bah fucking humbug & thank X'ist it's over.
The holidays, now behind, and this most foul year of our lord 2004 is upon us. Not that it is that foul, or even, that I am currently unhappy. Just an ode to an old Drunk...if you know, you know.

Here's to blogging into the new year.

Oh, jerks, yeah, I did. The lego room will never be the same.

Draper

Why the Internet was Invented
I was surfing the internet, looking for ideas and inspiration for the uniforms I'll be designing on Madden. I stumbled on this delightful little website, which chronicles the uniform changes for all 32 teams of the NFL since 1920.

Here's to wasting time!

Tony

Power Corrupts And PowerPoint Corrupts Absolutely
I thought you Jerks would enjoy this (for different reasons):

David Byrne of Talking Heads fame, has released a book and CD compilation of PowerPoint art (link via Wired). According to the story, there is evidently a PowerPoint backlash amongst nerds - read this editorial from Wired entitled PowerPoint Is Evil. And you thought I was nuts for getting all fired up about LEGO colors.

Marc

Ballcoach: R.I.P.
So the Ol' Ballcoach is Skins history, after phoning in his resignation (to his agent) from a golf course. What a scumbag. As a longtime quitter, I knew he was going to do it - he just had that "Fuck this" look about him.

And while The Danny isn't much good at running a football team, he's pretty good at running a business. The Skins are earning $25 million a year, and are now worth $1 billion. Come to think of it, AOL was wildly profitable while delivering a shitty product.

I guess my favorite candidate to replace Spurrier is Dennis Green, but he wants total personnel control, which Snyder isn't willing to give up. Jim Fassel is not the answer, and I've never had a good felling about Ray Rhodes. I think the failure of Spurrier precludes hiring another college coach, so it looks like the Skins will be settling for an NFL retread. Have they fired Dennis Erickson yet?

Marc

Addendum: Bonus Danny bash: 70 Snyder idiocies (and it's a pre-Ballcoach list!)

Jesus Wept
From the Washington Times, the headline says it all:

Dean touts a 'Jesus strategy'

Crucifixion scheduled for November 2nd.

Marc

Merry Christmas To All, And To All A Good Blog
Hello all, and I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Here are a couple of holiday pictures. The first is obviously myself and my cat, Madison. The second is the pile of LEGO I got for Christmas - 37 sets total!

I hope to see everyone New Year's Eve and New Years' Day - we are planning a blind vodka taste test (blind during the tasting, not afterwards)!

Marc Nelson Jr.
Supreme Allied Commander
We Three Jerks