Kerry Lupus Watch
Topic: politics
Bush and Kerry are tied 48-48 in Maryland, says the new Survey USA poll taken 9/17-9/19.

I think it's just about about time for Operation Torricelli: Kerry is diagnosed with lupus and gets replaced on the ticket by John Edwards.

Marc

Tyler tests positive?
I am posting this before you hear or read about it in the non cycling media. From Cyclingnews,

The Vuelta a Espa?a has been rocked this morning by news that Tyler Hamilton (Phonak), has returned two positive blood tests that showed evidence of a homologous blood transfusion. One test was performed at the Athens Olympics and another at the Vuelta. Both tests showed evidence of a "mixed red blood cell population, an indication of a homologous (self) blood transfusion," Phonak's press officer Georges Luechinger was quoted by AP as saying. Phonak will hold a press conference later this evening.

Hamilton, winner of the gold medal at the Athens 2004 Olympics in the individual time trial, abandoned the Vuelta prior to stage 13 claiming stomach problems. Hamilton has denied having a transfusion, saying the positive test was the result of a surgical intervention he had some time ago.

Phonak team director Alvaro Pino said, "I have spoken to Tyler and he has claimed he is innocent and apart from whatever the (Phonak) team decides, he will do whatever he has to do to defend himself from these accusations."

This is bad, if true, and it may not be true, that he doped, these tests are not 100%. Especially this one, it is being used for the first time ever just this year, and was rushed into development for the Olympics. Now, before you start jumping up and down calling all cyclist cheaters, don't. Tyler has never tested positive or been sanctioned in any way by the UCI in his ten years as a pro.

Anyway, I know you all want to stay tuned on this so check back with Cyclingnews and Velonews throughout the day for the up to date info.

Crushed, if true

Me fail English, that's unpossible.
Topic: foolishness
Subtitle:English as a third language or What happens when a Basque manufacturing cooperative which makes bikes (among other things, like guns) runs an English language advertisement in a British cycling magazine!

Perhaps the Wiggums have some Basque heritage because it seems that even well educated Basque persons, like those is the ad dept. of Orbea, have a difficult time with the English language.

And I quote:

Besides offering a product with a technically competitive profile, we have also taken great care in design to tame its grip. The direction of the fibre, the surface reliefs, the design of the ZACCS rear stays and the ZICCS fork are not a question of pure chance.

T700S carbon fibre and epoxy
1000 g of reliability, stiffness and comfort
Optimised orientable properties of carbon fibre
Best profit of power and the maximum comfort

and the kicker:

The armory of the whole system will eventually make it a museum exhibit

What!?

I mean really, I am a bike nerd bar none and while some of the copy from that ad is just bike jargon, most of it it just plain and simple butchery of the language. And none of this is embellishment on my part, this is copy taken straight from the back page ad from the September 2004 issue of Procycling magazine, the one with Lance on the cover, or rather the latest one with Lance on the cover.

Though, I can imagine that English is hard to grasp when you spoken language is as fucked up as Basque is. For example, some names of riders for the Euskaltel Euskadi procycling team, which is a Basque only team:

Aitor Silloniz Aresti

Egoi Martinez de Esteban

Gorka Gonzalez Larranaga

Gorka Arrizabalaga Agirre

Inigo Landaluze Intxaurraga

So, what's the moral of this story, I don't know, but I am fascinated by the Basques, and their grotesque language, love of cycling, and soccer. And remember,

The armory of the whole system will eventually make it a museum exhibit!

Draper Esteban Landalutxeagga

Excrement!
Topic: sports
Well, I can't find the quote quite yet but, I was watching ESPNews today and apparently Deion (rhymes with Leon) took off his helmet after that punt return not because he is a showboating scumbag but because the two, yes two, do-rags he was wearing had come down and covered his eyes while running the punt back. So, as we can all see, Deion is still the humble servant of God and not just a washed up, showboating asshole that we all love to hate.

Draper

Baltimore has worst bout of Monday morning beer shits ever.
Topic: schadenfreude
This is too good to be true. Apparently the city partied just a little to hard yesterday celebrating the Ravens ugly injury fest of a football game over the Steelers. So when the sleepy eyed hung over city sat down on the toilet for that first Kool of the day, something bad happened. There was a rumbling in this fair city's bouls and then boom,

It blew out four or five manholes in the area and firefighters found smoke and flames shooting from one of the manholes. Cartwright said the fire damaged high-powered electric cables underground, including a cable that feeds the traffic light system.


Apparently, there was an underground fire somewhere near Guilford and Fayette and it blew the tops of four or five manhole covers, in addition to killing about 500 city stoplights. Should have been a fun morning rush for you people with jobs.

Draper

This is the best that the internet can do?
Topic: foolishness
So I was looking at the blog and digging Tbor's newest post while trying to come up with something to write about I decided to click on those little banner ads on the top of the page that change according to our content. And boy, this is what we inadvertantly advertise on our little site. A sticker website with gems like this. Oh well.

By the way a Euphonium is a brass instrument pitched in B-flat, which is used mainly in brass and military bands. Its range is equivalent to that of the tenor tuba. I had to look it up.

I wonder if the old addage that musicians get all the chicks holds true for Euphonium players, like these guys.

Draper

I am decidedly NOT lovin' it
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: foolishness
As some of you out there in Jerkdom may know, I recently moved down to Charles Village. Now, in addition to being within walking distance to Eddies market (home of delicious deli sandwhiches and decadent bannanna pudding), I get off the bus on 29th street right next to a McDonald's and a Kentucky Fried Chicken.

(Interesting sidenote -- The KFC on 29th still has the words "Kentucky Fried Chicken" on the building. Chicken restaurateurs are under strict orders from the Colonel these days to present themselves as KFC's, in order to hide the fact that their product is fried. It still is fried, mind you, but they'd like you not to think about that so much.)

ANYWAY, Yesterday evening I submitted to temptation and went to McDonalds. Truth be told, I don't believe I've enjoyed a visit to McDonalds (except for breakfast), for a long time. But I'm a junk-food junkie, and fast food just sings to me sometimes. Now, I know what you're thinking. A McDonalds at 29th street is probably not going to be the best dining experience. But, to the contrary, it was clean, not at all crowded and the staff was relatively friendly, prompt and courteous. But here's the rub. My order was wrong, which is not all that surprising, except for the way that it was wrong.

I had ordered a double quarterpounder with cheese and a six piece McNugget. When I got home, everything looked fine, except my double quarterpounder with cheese box had a single quarterpounder with cheese and my six piece nugget box only had four nuggets. That's not even an item, as a matter of fact. The four piece nugget is a kid's meal nugget, but that's really besides the point.

My question is, was race a motivating factor in this Fast Food Fiasco? I can't prove anything, and in fact the young lady who waited on me was friendly and quick. But these seem like odd discrepencies. Remeber, it wasn't like I placed my order and got three cheeseburgers and a couple of pies instead. All items were in their correct box, they were just slightly off. And two screw-ups like this in one order? Just seems Filet-o-fishy to me.

Tony

He really does make the most sense
Mood:  smelly
Topic: politics
CBS News' own Andy Rooney was quoted in the Daily News today that he believes the memos, originally aired on a 60 Minutes 2 segment a couple of weeks ago, about President Bush failing to fulfill his National Guard duties are fakes and Dan Rather should say so.

Now, I don't believe that there was any malicious intent behind the airing of these memos, but I do believe that the longer Rather refuses to call a spade a spade, the worse this story gets for CBS. Rather has always been dogged by accusations that his liberalism colors his broadcasts to an almost embarassing level. Personally, I think this is an example of the news buisness' obsession with scoops and scandals than anything else.

Not surprisingly, I think the greatest travesty of this whole thing is that fact that this presidential election is stuck in the quagmire of rehashing Vietnam. This war has as much to do with modern America as the Franco-Prussian War, but the media and the political elite are indulging in one more groovy grove acid flashback, while people our age will be forced to pick up the tab. I hate to sound like a broken record (or scratched CD, or, I guess, a low-battered IPOD [this is probably a terrible phrase, since I have no expdeience with this new technology. Anyone with a better phrase, please let me know.], but there are real, honest-to-God issues out there that we are simply not talking about.

One of the reasons I haven't blogged in such a long time is because what I want to write about is this election, but my anger at the candidates and the media has settled into a quiet depression that I don't even want to think about.

But, I'm back, baby. Like crab grass, not pulled by the root, but by the other thing. So, look forward to more Tony posts. We'll talk about uniforms, I'll promise to find something about the Redskins to complain about and we'll continue to bash soft-headed Democrats, Baby Boomers, old people, teachers, labor unions, city government etc.

Thanks for having me back. I feel like Magic Johnson when he came back to the NBA. You know, except for the AIDS.

Tony

We're Not Here To Cause No Trouble
Topic: sports
"We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle!"

Marc

West By God Virginia
Topic: sports
Ralph Friedgen on playing in Morgantown:

"You know they really like us up there," Friedgen said facetiously. "I'll have to dodge the first four whiskey bottles that come out of the stands, and I'm an easy target, so they'll really be throwing them."

He's really not exagerrating. My first year of college, I remember watching a Terps-WVU game on TV at College Park. The ref called a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on WVU for "throwing whiskey bottles on the field".

Here's hoping the Terps beat West Virginia the way West Virginians beat their wives.

Marc

Coup De Grace
Topic: politics
It now looks extremely likely that CBS got the forged memos from Bill Burkett, a disgruntled former National Guard officer and source for the earlier Bush National Guard scandal.

The Post is reporting that the documents were faxed to CBS from a Kinko's in Abilene near Burkett's home - a Kinko's where Burkett has a standing account.

So, CBS' star witness in someone who says the memos are fake; their other source, Ben Barnes is a fundraiser for Kerry; the (fake) documents came from a Bush-hating lunatic. Ol' Dan is starting to sound a little worried:

CBS anchor Dan Rather acknowledged for the first time yesterday that there are serious questions about the authenticity of the documents he used to question President Bush's National Guard record last week on "60 Minutes."

"If the documents are not what we were led to believe, I'd like to break that story," Rather said in an interview last night. "Any time I'm wrong, I want to be right out front and say, 'Folks, this is what went wrong and how it went wrong.'"

I advise you not to hold your breath waiting for that one. I'd like to continue paying 24-hour attention to this clusterfuck, but unfortunately, I have to work the next couple of days.

And that's part of our world.

Marc

Run Out The Clock
Topic: politics
Looks like CBS delayed their statement in the hopes of it getting lost in the Ivan coverage. Here is is, for what it's worth (via Drudge):

Statement by the President of CBS News, Andrew Heyward:

"We established to our satisfaction that the memos were accurate or we would not have put them on television. There was a great deal of coroborating [sic] evidence from people in a position to know. Having said that, given all the questions about them, we believe we should redouble our efforts to answer those questions, so that's what we are doing."

Notice the word "accurate" as opposed to authentic - the Fake But Accurate defense.

Marc

Addendum:
NBC had a fairly long (for network news) story on the memos that included the CBS statement. The graphic was the CBS logo with the words "Black Eye" superimposed. Their angle on the forged memos was that the political impact on Bush was nil, and that the real loser was CBS.

Rather Sticks To His Story Tighter Than The Rusted Lugnuts On A '57 Chevy
Topic: politics

Dan Rather To Bush: `Answer The Questions'

Mr. Rather said that the focus on questions over the veracity of the memos was a smoke screen perpetrated by right-wing allies of the Bush administration.

"I think the public, even decent people who may be well-disposed toward President Bush, understand that powerful and extremely well-financed forces are concentrating on questions about the documents because they can't deny the fundamental truth of the story," he said. "If you can't deny the information, then attack and seek to destroy the credibility of the messenger, the bearer of the information. And in this case, it's change the subject from the truth of the information to the truth of the documents.

"This is your basic fogging machine, which is set up to cloud the issue, to obscure the truth," he said.

Man, this is straight out of the Clinton playbook - deny, deny, deny. I wouldn't be surprised if the upcoming statement just says, "This is all old news - we need to stop being distracted and get back to the important business of reporting on GWB's failure to serve his duty in the National Guard". Too bad Joe Lockhart is busy.

But here's the real CBS defense:

Mr. Rather said he was well aware of reports in The New York Times and The Washington Post that had finely detailed examinations of inconsistencies in the memos. And he said he took those reports seriously and appreciated the "competitive response" of other news organizations. But despite a number of experts calling the memos forgeries, he said that "the truth of these documents lies in the signatures and in the content, not just the typeface and the font-style. Let me emphasize once again, these are not exact sciences. Not like DNA or fingerprints."

"Fake But Accurate", as the NYT put it. Not quite as catchy as "We Report, You Decide", but what are you gonna do?

Here's an oral bowel movement that you knew would come out of Rather's mouth eventually:

These are unpleasant truths. But they are truths. There was and is no joy in reporting them. But part of what reporters are supposed to do is ask questions, dig for facts and, when truths are found, share them with the public and, when called upon to do so, speak truth to power. This we did.

Some people might say that's what the bloggers did.

Marc

Ba-Dum Chhh
Topic: politics
Drudge says CBS long-delayed statement is now scheduled to be released in about... 60 Minutes.

Marc

The End?
Topic: politics
Well, ABC lowered the boom on the CBS forgeries last night on the evening news:

Emily Will, a veteran document examiner from North Carolina, told ABC News she saw problems right away with the one document CBS hired her to check the weekend before the broadcast.

"I found five significant differences in the questioned handwriting, and I found problems with the printing itself as to whether it could have been produced by a typewriter," she said.

Will says she sent the CBS producer an e-mail message about her concerns and strongly urged the network the night before the broadcast not to use the documents.

"I told them that all the questions I was asking them on Tuesday night, they were going to be asked by hundreds of other document examiners on Thursday if they ran that story," Will said.

And the Dallas Morning News reports that even the Bush-hating secretary who would have typed the memos is saying they are fake:

Marian Carr Knox, who worked from 1957 to 1979 at Ellington Air Force Base in Houston, said she prided herself on meticulous typing, and the memos first disclosed by CBS News last week were not her work.

"These are not real," she told The Dallas Morning News after examining copies of the disputed memos for the first time. "They're not what I typed, and I would have typed them for him."

Mrs. Knox, 86, who spoke with precise recollection about dates, people and events, said she is not a supporter of Mr. Bush, who she deemed "unfit for office" and "selected, not elected."

Howard Kurtz wraps up both these developments in the Post:

In a separate telephone interview, Linda James said that she told CBS the documents "had problems" and that she had questioned "whether they were produced on a computer."

Asked whether CBS took her concerns seriously, James said: "Evidently not."

Frank Abagnale, the master forger who was played by Leonardo di Caprio in "Catch Me If You Can", is saying the CBS memos are lame forgeries:

"If my forgeries looked as bad as the CBS documents, it would have been, 'Catch Me In Two Days.'"

Meanwhile, CBS will reportedly release a statement at noon. It's getting harder to see a way out for CBS other than giving up Rather's head on a platter. This sort of crap:

Rather Rides Out Latest Partisan Storm

Likewise, he [Rather] said, his critics are "people who for their own partisan, political agendas can't deny the core truth of this story ... and want to change the subject and make the story about me rather than have the story be about the unanswered questions about President Bush's military service."

isn't going to fly when you've got ABC and the Washington Post calling you out. Last I checked, they weren't part of the right-wing conspiracy.

Plan B is that CBS just stonewalls, keeps saying the memos are real against all rational opinion, and just becomes the FOX News of the left - i.e. turning its already transparent liberal bias into a selling point.

The other question is what impact does this this have on the election. Obviously, Bush voters are only reinforced in their beliefs, and are now inoculated against any late bombshells like the 2000 drunk-driving story because they know the media is lying to them. The LA Times provides an early indicator of the leftist response in this editorial. They admit the obvious - the memos are fakes:

CBS News was had. It's hard to reach any other conclusion about documents that CBS and anchor Dan Rather have defended as revealing the truth about George W. Bush's military service.

But just because they were fake, doesn't mean they weren't true!

Whatever the truth, CBS' real error was trying to prove a point that didn't need to be proved. It doesn't take documents for anyone to realize that Bush pulled strings to get into the National Guard. And, during the Vietnam draft, nobody went into the National Guard out of passion to defend his country. It also doesn't take new documents to establish that Bush shirked even his National Guard duties when he moved to Alabama and then to Harvard Business School in Massachusetts.

The brouhaha all but managed to place Bush's Vietnam-era service off-limits as a campaign issue, after weeks in which John F. Kerry's impressive record has been under savage attack. Bush gave a smirky speech Tuesday to the National Guard Assn., waxing on about the patriotic sacrifices of the Guard's men and women over the years. All of that is true, but not about him.

And now we see the cocoon at work - "of course, Bush was AWOL; of course, Bush is a liar". I think the left is so used to having the mainstream media as an ally that it takes that advantage for granted, and hasn't yet absorbed the full implications of a major network lying to the public.

I may not be one of them, but there are still a lot of people who think that what comes out of Dan Rather's mouth is "the truth". That number is about to get a lot smaller, and that isn't good news for the Democratic party.

Marc